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“We just don’t need your help.”
This was the response from a Vice President when I was pitching our services. I get it, it happens. For those of us who sell products or services, we know we don’t win them all, and there are times when there is pushback for whatever reason.
But what bothered me the most was the way he turned me down. There was little to no interest in obtaining more information, taking the time to consider our discussion, or establishing any relationship. Maybe I caught him at a bad time? What’s not to like about me, right?
Instead of saying “thanks, let’s stay in touch for the future” or asking about other companies attracting talent, the market, salary ranges, etc., he very directly informed me that he had a very talented and happy team. He mentioned he had built a high-performing team with a great culture, and they had no openings, nor did he foresee anything in the future. The conversation seemed to turn in the direction of “why would I ever need you?”. Ouch!
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Hey, it happens, so I can’t take it personally, and who am I to question the talent he has on his team or the culture he has built?
Plot twist: At the time of my call, I had 3 resumes from his team as candidates in our ATS. Each of these candidates had individually sent us their resume, and we didn’t recruit them proactively. During our intake calls, all 3 had similar reasons for wanting to leave their company. One of those reasons was leadership. I assumed that although he felt he had built a great team, there was an underlying issue with his leadership strategy or style.
Now, at first glance, that might not seem like a big deal. But this was not a big team, and 3 is a relatively high percentage of his team.
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We placed one of those candidates, and the other 2 have since left the company.
Those six words, delivered with the kind of finality that could end a conversation before it really began, came from a Vice President during what I thought would be a routine pitch. As someone who’s been in sales for years, I’ve heard every variation of “no” imaginable. But this one stuck with me—not because of the rejection itself, but because of what unfolded afterward.
The VP wasn’t just declining our services; he was building a fortress around his decision. There was no curiosity about market trends, no interest in exploring what we might offer in the future, and no attempt to build even the thinnest bridge for future conversations. Instead, he painted a picture of perfection: a talented team, a stellar culture, zero concerns about turnover, and absolutely no foreseeable need for external recruitment support.
His confidence was impressive; I’ll give him that. He spoke about his high-performing team with the pride of someone who’d personally handpicked every member. The subtext was clear: “Why would a leader of my caliber ever need outside help?”
Here’s where the story gets interesting. At the exact moment this VP was telling me about his perfectly content team, I had three résumés in our applicant tracking system from his direct reports.
These weren’t candidates we’d actively recruited or poached. They had reached out to us independently, each one painting a very different picture of their workplace experience. During our intake conversations, a common theme emerged: leadership challenges. The very leadership that this VP was so confident about was driving his people to seek opportunities elsewhere.
This wasn’t a sprawling department where three departures might go unnoticed. This was a focused team, with three people representing a significant percentage of the workforce. We’re talking about nearly a quarter of his team actively job hunting while he was assuring me they were all happy and settled.
We successfully placed one of those candidates in a role where they’re thriving. The other two? They’ve since left the company on their own, finding new opportunities elsewhere. Within months of that confident “we don’t need help” conversation, this VP had lost significant talent and faced the exact recruitment challenges he was so sure he’d never encounter.
This experience illuminated something profound about leadership blind spots. Sometimes the people who are most certain about their team’s satisfaction are the ones most disconnected from their team’s reality. There’s a dangerous comfort in assuming that silence equals contentment, that the absence of complaints means the presence of engagement.
What struck me wasn’t just the irony of the situation. It was the missed opportunity for connection and learning. This VP could have used our conversation as a temperature check, an outside perspective on his industry and talent market. Even if he didn’t need our services immediately, he could have gathered valuable intelligence about compensation trends, competitor moves, or emerging skill gaps.
Instead, his defensive posture prevented any meaningful exchange. He was so focused on protecting his narrative of success that he missed signals that could have helped him retain the talent he was about to lose.
This story isn’t really about recruitment or sales rejections. It’s about the importance of staying curious and open, even when we feel most confident about our position. The best leaders I’ve worked with understand that external perspectives, even from people trying to sell them something, can provide valuable insights.
They ask questions: “What are you seeing in the market?” “How do our compensation packages compare?” “What trends should we be watching?” They treat every interaction as a potential learning opportunity.
For my fellow sales professionals reading this, remember that many “no’s” are indeed “not now’s.” But more importantly, some “no’s” are actually “I don’t know what I don’t know’s.” The VP’s certainty wasn’t based on superior insight—it was based on incomplete information.
Our job isn’t just to sell products or services; it’s to help prospects see the possibilities they might be missing. Sometimes that means gently challenging comfortable assumptions, even when it makes conversations uncomfortable.
Months later, I wonder if that VP connected the dots between his confident dismissal and his subsequent talent challenges. Did he recognize that his certainty had blinded him to warning signs? Has he become more open to external perspectives?
The best leaders are those who remain curious, who understand that confidence and humility can coexist, and who recognize that the moment we stop learning is the moment we start falling behind. Sometimes the most valuable thing someone can offer us isn’t what we think we need—it’s what we don’t yet know we’re missing.
Resources:
Learning from Failure: How to Overcome Leadership Challenges
